Relocation services for British Columbia, Canada

Canadian jokes

Q. In Vancouver, what do you call it after two heavy days of rain?
A. Monday!

Q. What is big and white and found in Vancouver?
A. A lost polar bear.

Q. Why did the boy climb up a tree with his hockey stick?
A. Because he wanted to play with the Maple Leafs.

Q: How do you get the Canadian paparazzi off your front lawn?
A: You say “Please get off my front lawn.”

Q. How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
A. Take away their little brooms.

Q. What's the difference between a beaver and a chain saw?
A. Eighty trees an hour.

A Canadian is Just like an American...except with less money.

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Why does a Canadian cross the road? To get to the middle!

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Did you hear about the man who went ice fishing? He was killed by the zamboni* machine ...
* the machine that cleans and smooths the ice at ice rinks

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After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it.

The guy from Molson sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Molson’s?”

The Molson president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”

Somebody in Canada started a contest to come up with a saying analogous to “As American as apple pie.” The idea was to finish this sentence:
“As Canadian as...”
The winner:
“As Canadian as possible under the circumstances.”

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Trick question:
If America and Canada got into a war, where would all the draft dodgers go?

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At parties, a Canadian asks you upstairs so he can examine your caulking and get the name of your weather-stripping man.